Hole in One

Golf in the Bedroom Rules of Play;
Each player shall provide his own equipment - normally one club and two balls. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole. For the most effective play, the club owner should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in denied permission to play the course again. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers. Players are encouraged not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play at this time. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same course several times in one month.

Late Again

Wife - "Where the  hell have you been?  You said you'd be done with golf by noon!"
Husband - "I'm so sorry, Honey, but you probably don't want to hear the reason."
Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW!"
Husband - "Fine.  We finished in under  4 hours, quick beer in the clubhouse, I hopped in the car and would have  been here at noon on the button.   On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire.  I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money.  Of course, I refuse it - then she tells  me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer. She's such a sweetie, I said yes.  Before you know it - one beer turned to three or four, and I  guess we were looking pretty good to each other.  Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table.  She suggested we get some privacy while pulling  me by the hand.  Now I'm in her room ... clothes are flying .... The talking stopped ...  and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because  before I know it the clock says 5:30.  I jumped up, threw my clothes  on, ran to the car, and here I am.  There, you wanted the truth ... you  got it."
Wife - "Bullshit! You played 36 holes, didn't you!?"

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about...

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball. When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball. Top management discusses golf. Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.