Mow the Yard

Lee Trevino is a considered one of the best golf players in history and has a net worth over $40 Million. He's Hispanic and lives with his beautiful wife in Dallas, Texas. One day he was out cutting the grass, as he does every week. A lady driving by in a sleek new Tesla S stopped in front of his house and motioned for him to come to her car.  Lee drove his Toro Zero turn mower to her car and waited for her to lower the window. The lady said, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"
Lee responded, "Yes Ma'am, I do."
The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work?"
Lee said, "Well, the woman in this house lets me sleep with her." The lady's eyes got big, she then turned red and sped off in the Tesla without a reply.
No one knows if she ever returned to take him up on his offer.

Cliffhanger

Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing. Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply. "Okay Rodge," shouted Barry, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and.." but before he could finish, he heard Roger call "But both my legs are broke." Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was "They're broken too!" So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, "You right there mate?" to which Rodger replied,"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"

Football Player and Hooker

Q: What do you get when you cross a football player with a hooker?
A: An illegal procedure.