Caught Many Fish

A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, "Only caught one, eh?"

Snowboarders to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

Wedding Day Baseball

There was a man named Joe playing baseball on his wedding day. The guy at the plate hits the ball, and it nails Joe right in the genitals. His teammates rush him to the hospital and take him into the emergency room. As he's lying on the table the doctor looks at him and says, ''That's pretty bad. I don't think there's anything I can do for that.'' Joe says, ''Oh please doc it's my wedding night. You've gotta do something!'' The doctor then says, ''Well, I can put two tongue depressors around it and wrap it with gauze tape to immobilize it.'' Joe says, ''Oh thank you, doc. Just don't tell my fiancé.'' They get married and later that night Joe's lying on the bed and his wife comes out in a sexy outfit. She unbuttons it, grabs her breasts and says, ''Do you see these beautiful breasts? No one else has ever seen these. I've been saving them just for you.'' ''Thats nothing,'' Joe replies. He pulls down his pants and says, ''Look at this. It's not even out of the box yet!''