Three Bragging Women in a Bar

Three women were sitting at a bar having a few drinks. After a while the conversation started turning a little rude and crass. Soon the women were getting louder and they were arguing about how wide their snatches were. (This happens all the time.) The first woman got up on the bar, lifted her leg, grabbed a baseball bat and slid it home. All the people in the bar were watching, hooting and hollering, throwing money. Five minutes later the second woman got up, lifted her leg, grabbed a bowling ball and slid it in. People were going ballistic. Finally the third women very casually got up on the bar and asked for a quarter. She slid it in..... and the jukebox starts playing.

Why Women Talk More than Men

Q: Why do women talk more than men, and why are men smarter than women?
A: Because women have four lips and men have two heads!

The Yuppie, Dink, Rub, and Wife

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."