Great to be a Woman

Reasons why it's great to be a woman:

1. Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies. 
2. Speeding ticket? What's that?
3. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
4. If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud.
5. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
6. You can sleep your way to the top.
7. You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
8. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
9. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
10. Brad Pitt.
11. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
12. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
13. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
14. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
15. You have the ability to dress yourself.
16. If you marry someone twenty years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
17. You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
18. You can quickly end any fight by crying.
19. Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
20. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
21. You've never had a goatee.
22. You'll never regret piercing your ears.
23. You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
24. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
25. You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.

Bonds and Men

Q: What's the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Bonds mature.

Instructor

Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman that won't do what she's told.