Russian Sex

A man is at a bar. He sees a good looking woman, but she's a little older. Maybe in her 40s. He goes up to her and starts a conversation. Halfway through she seems interested and asks an interesting question. She asks how he feels about a little mother-daughter action.
The man is intrigued. She is nice enough by herself, but her daughter must be amazing. He agrees and they go back to her place. They enter the house and go upstairs. The lady knocks on a bedroom door and gently whispers:
"Mom, are you awake?"

Timbuktu

It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats, died on the same day. When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' The one who creates the best poem I'll let into heaven."
So Shelly goes first. He thinks a bit and after a few moments, he starts, "I stood upon the burning sand, gazing at a far off land. A caravan came into view - it's destination: Timbuktu."
"Very good!" says St. Peter, "Keats it's your turn. Do you think you can top that one?"
Keats just smiled and started his poem: "Tim and I a hunting went, and found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."

Signs You Are A Loser

1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than have you pet it.
2. All the numbers in your little black book start with "1-900."
3. Due to excessive hazing and ridicule, you decided to drop out of the Origami Club.
4. You were almost involved in a threesome, but your left hand fell asleep.
5. Fantasizing out loud before falling asleep is your idea of "pillow talk."
6. Your personal ad reads: "Seeking Anybody."
7. Next to your name in the phone directory, the phone number is replaced with the phrase "Who cares?"
8. You look forward to the dinner time calls from telemarketers.
9. The last time you were invited to a party, you were grooving to the lyric, "Put your right foot in, take your right foot out."
10. You spent last summer following around the 2000 Bible Belt Trekkie Convention Tour.