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Sex Jokes
Laying Down the Rules
A typical macho man married a typical good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table, unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not!"
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When Man Is Smartest
Q: Why is a man at his smartest when he is having sex?
A: Because he's plugged into a woman!
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Memories
An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another old man sits down next to him and says, "Hey buddy, what's the problem?"
The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I've got this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do is make love from the moment I walk in the door till the moment we go to sleep and then when we wake up again."
"So, what the hell is the problem?"
"You don't understand... I forgot where I live!"
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