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Sex Jokes
The Great Rabbit Escape
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought.
It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it, he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked.
"Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"
"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well."
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly."There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it."
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning shagging his little heart out until, completely spent, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was fantastic," he panted.
"So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked.
"I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't."
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette!"
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Definition of Kinky Sex
I'm not saying that my wife was naive when we got married, but she thought "kinky sex" involved her wearing hair curlers to bed.
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40 Years of Sex Life
It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed upon him twenty years of normal sex life. Man was horrified. "Only twenty years of normal sex life?" But the Lord was very adamant that was all man could have. Then the Lord called the monkey and gave him twenty years. "But I don't need twenty years", he protested. "Ten is plenty for me." Man spoke up eagerly, "Can I have the other ten?". The monkey graciously agreed.
Then the Lord called the lion and gave him twenty years and the lion, like the monkey, wanted only ten. Again the man spoke up, "Can I have the other ten?" The lion said of course he could. Then came the donkey and he was given twenty years. But like the others, ten was sufficient and again man pleaded, "Can I have the other ten?".
This explains why man has twenty years of normal sex life, plus ten years of monkeying around, ten years of lion about it, and ten years of making an ass of himself.
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