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Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes
Three guys named Larry
Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?" The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Mountain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime." The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up." The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels." The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor." The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"
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The Blondes Name their Boyfriends
Three blondes had boyfriends all named John and they kept getting confused. They decided to name them after sodas. The first girl said, "I'll call mine 7 Up, because he's seven inches and he's always up." The next girl said, "I'll call mine Mountain Dew, because he mounts me and knows exactly what to do." The last girl goes, "I'll call mine Jack Daniels." The other girls yelled at her and said, "That's not a soda! That's a hard licker!"
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The Dirty Salesman
The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude. It seemed she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any knickers under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice cream, I'd eat every bite."
Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it. The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted. The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing why he didn't go down to the shop and punch the rude salesman right in the nose.
"Well", the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn't have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe full of them. Secondly, you have no business going shopping with no knickers on. But most of all, I'm not going to punch anyone who's big enough to eat that much ice cream!"
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