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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Little Gregory Wakes Up in the Middle of the Night
Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there is a man in bed with his mom. Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike!"
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Checking the Rear Axle
On the drive over to his girlfriend's house, a guy listens to a call-in sex show on the radio. The host is explaining that masturbating before sex can help men last longer. The guy decides to give it a try. He pulls his truck over on the side of the highway, gets out and crawls underneath. Satisfied with the privacy, he undoes his pants, closes his eyes and starts to masturbate. Close to orgasm, he feels a tap on the bottom of his boot. Not wanting to lose his fantasy when he's so close, he squeezes his eyes shut tighter and stammers, "J-just checking the r-rear a-axle. Almost g-got it!" "Well, you might as well check your brakes while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."
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Classmates
Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives. Sue says, "It's OK. We get it on every week or so, but it's no big adventure; how's yours?" Sally replies, "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M." Sue is aghast. "Really, Sally, I never would have quessed that you would go for that!!" Oh, sure," says Sally, "He Snores while I Masturbate."
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