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Sex Jokes - Masturbation Jokes
Babe on the Balcony
This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can't stand it any longer. He sends down a note on a piece of string: ''If you want me to make love to you please pull on the string once. If not please pull slowly 20 times and then faster another 10."
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Vasectomy Clinic
Two guys have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy clinic. A young nurse preps them for surgery. She tells the first guy to take off his clothes and sit on an exam table. Then, she takes his manhood in her hands and masturbates him. She tells him that it is standard procedure to make sure there are no blockages. Once done, the nurse tells him to sit down and repeats her instructions to the second guy. When he is on the exam table, the nurse gives him a blow job. Upon seeing this, the first guy says, "That's not fair. Why does he get a blow job?" The nurse says, "Sorry, that's the difference between Blue Cross and an HMO."
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Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You're in them
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