Bingo Gag Prizes

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag door prize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. ''What the hell is this?'' he asks the pastor. ''Why, it's a toilet brush.'' ''Ooh, I see,'' says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working. ''Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.''

Vow of Silence!

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say only two words every 7 years. After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his throat and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. 7 more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say... "You've done nothing but complain since you've been here!"

Cooking With The Bible

Newlyweds Kaitlyn and Brandon were having an argument about who should brew the coffee. Brandon said, "You're in charge of cooking, so you should do it." Kaitlyn replied, "No, you should do it because it says in the Bible that the man makes the coffee." Brandon was shocked to hear this and asked his beautiful new blonde wife to show him the passage. Full of excitement, Kaitlyn ran to the Good Book to prove for the first time how wrong her new husband was. She opened the Bible and pointed to where it said: "HEBREWS"