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Religion Jokes - Muslim Jokes
Iraqi TV Guide
Iraqi TV Guide:
MONDAY
8:00 - Husseinfeld
8:30 - Mad About Everything
9:00 - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 - Allah McBeal
TUESDAY
8:00 - Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 - The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
9:00 - Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 - Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers
WEDNESDAY
8:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 - Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 - Just Shoot Me
9:30 - Veilwatch
THURSDAY
8:00 - Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 - My Two Baghdads
FRIDAY
8:00 - Judge Saddam
8:30 - Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 - Achmed's Creek
9:30 - No-witness News
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Muslim Heaven
Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven." The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!" St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?" The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!" St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!" The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!" St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!" So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says, "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days the Jesus man got up, went out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was 6 more weeks of winter!"
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One Way to Learn English
Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England for a visit. "Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector. "No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all." "How long do you plan to stay?" "Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks." "By the way, where did you learn English?" "From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio."
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