Short Guide To Religions

• Taoism: Shit happens.
• Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
• Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
• Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough!
• Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?!?
• Hinduism: This shit happened before.
• Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
• Har Krisna: Shit happens, Rama Rama!
• T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit!!
• Atheism: No shit.
• Jehovah's Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.
• Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happenin'.
• Christian Science: Shit Happens in your mind.
• Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
• Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
• Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

Is There A God

Q: Is there a God?
A: A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

Salman Rushdie's Sequels

Q: Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"?
A: 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.