Converted

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street, when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign that says, “Convert to Catholicism and Get $10.” One of the men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, “Abner, what’s going on?” “Caleb,” replies Abner, “I’m thinking of doing it.” After a moment, Abner decides. He strides into the church. He comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed. “So,” asks Caleb, “did you get your ten dollars?” Abner looks up at him and says, “Is that all you people think about?”

Pope and E-Z Pass

Q: What did the Pope say when his driver told him he forgot to get E-Z Pass for their USA trip?
A: The Holy Father smiled and said, "Don’t worry, we have Jesus Pass!"

It is Written in the Bible!

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel and asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started advancing on her when she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. "It's O.K.," he replied, "it's written in the Bible." So after a wild night of you-know-what the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it's okay. The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone wrote in pencil - "The hat check girl puts out!"