Relationship Jokes - Wedding Jokes

The Australian Way

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age. She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an Australian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had indeed never been with a woman and they were married. On their wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the room. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman." He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!"

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Anonymous

The Honeymoon

After the third day of a really intimate honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel like honey?" "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Huge Guy and Tiny Girl Get Married

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"  The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down.  "His friend says, "You know, that doesn't sound too bad!"  The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like jerking off, only I got somebody to talk to!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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