Extra Office Work

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied; "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

Guide For All Women

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:
I'M HUNGRY. I'm hungry.
I'M SLEEPY. I'm sleepy.
I'M TIRED. I'm tired.
I'VE GOTTA GO. Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.
WHAT'S WRONG? I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this.
WHAT'S WRONG? What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. I liked it better before.
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!
LET'S TALK, HONEY. I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
WILL YOU MARRY ME? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
WILL YOU MARRY ME? I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

Woman With a Black Eye

A woman went to the bar with a black eye. "How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town?" he asked. "So did I!" she said.