Top Signs You Are a Mom

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!
You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"
You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!

Marriage Trip

Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.

Marriage Quotes ... More!

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin Corey
Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of Blessington
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956
Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass Daley
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette Davis
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord Dewar
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? - Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin Disraeli
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. - Isadora Duncan
Many a man that could rule a hundred million strangers with an iron hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway when he comes home late at night. - Finley Peter Dunne, "Mr. Dooley On Making A Will", 1919
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of course. - Encyclopaedia Apocryphia
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in. - Benjamin Franklin
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. - Bruce Friedman
Choose a wife by your ear than your eye. - Thomas Fuller, 1732
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Goethe
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. - Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting married
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now completely frappe!" - Graham
If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. - Robert Graves