NY Times Ad

Ad seen in the New York Times... FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f#*#ing everything.

Young Love

A older couple are driving down the highway when another car passed them. The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway. This causes the woman to think back to when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" He quietly replied, "I haven't moved...."

You Used Too

An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch. "You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer. "You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her. "You used to nibble on my ear." "Let me get my teeth."