Gun Vs Wife

Q: Do you know why a gun is better than a wife?
A: You can put a silencer on a gun.

Complications

Q: Wife: If I died, would you get married again?
A: Husband: Probably not, my current GF won't leave her husband.

He's The Boss

If you constantly hear a married man brag about how he runs everything around the house, you can be sure that he is referring to the lawn mower, the car, the errands, and the baby carriage.