Deaf Men Won't Listen

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other Buddy says "when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" Says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!"

Social Security Sex

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

Happy Marriage

I'm really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, "My husbands home! My husband's home!" What a gal I married!