Who's Fishing?

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver.  Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation (she is speaking in a cheery voice) "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful.  I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye Bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

Pregnancy Excitement

A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The gentleman sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. "Sir," she said, "I just received the best news you could ever imagine. I have to share it with someone or I'll bust." She told him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant. The man shared her enthusiasm as he shared his experience. He said he was a farmer and he had trouble with his hens laying eggs. He stated that he went out to the hen house one morning and all of his hens had laid eggs. He was so happy, he added, "but confidentially, I changed cocks." The newly pregnant woman responded, "Confidentially, me too."

Baby Daddy

"Will the father be present during the birth?", asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be,"He and my husband don't get along."