Relationship Jokes - Cheater Jokes

The Good Wife

After the annual office Labor Day party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouth, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the President of the company to his face."
"He's an asshole - piss on him!"
"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday!"

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Anonymous

What To Call A Penis

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries. The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering. The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side. The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act. With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth.

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Anonymous

Lights Off for 30 Years

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her.  All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo.  She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He replied, "Explain the kids!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: skylertouchet
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