Closet Door Trouble

A woman had a problem with her closet door - it was falling off the track every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. "OK, I am gonna see what is going on from the inside, just close the door behind me" and he steps into the closet. Just then the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman. Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!" Repairman: "Well, you aren't going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!"

Rabbi Trouble

The Rabbi rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community." No one moved. The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!" Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan, I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Gag Reflex

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. 
Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.