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Relationship Jokes - Break-up Jokes
Too Much Celebrating
The couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. "Elliot," she said, pointing, "do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?"
The husband looked over and nodded. "Well," the woman continued, "he's been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!"
The husband returned to his meal. "Nonsense," he said, "even that's not worth so much celebrating!"
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Divorce Can Wait
A wife was having coffee with a girlfriend of hers when she confided to her, "Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I. Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getting the feeling that he's screwing his secretary. I can't eat, I can't sleep, in fact, I've already lost eight pounds this month alone!" "Well, why don't you dump the bastard?" her friend asked. To which the wife replied, "Oh, I plan to do that, but first I want to get my weight down to 115 pounds."
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I Lost My Wife!
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost fucking impossible!
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