An Arkansas Divorce

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.  "Why so glum, Chum?", asked the kindly stranger.  "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?"

Bejewelled Portrait

Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things." "True enough," said Mrs. Whembleton. "If I should pre-decease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!"

Wise Guys

A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the mental abilities of their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most stupid woman in the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of meat, and we don't even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went out last week and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to be out done, the Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left for a two week holiday in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a penis!"