Marriage Plus

Q: What did the lady get with her marriage?
A: A new name and a dress.

The Top Signs That Your Net Relationship Is Over

• All of a sudden, she's typing in a different font.
• Instead of hearing that lovely "You've Got Mail" statement when you use America OnLine, you hear "You Just Got Dumped!"
• Your connection to his server is constantly refused.
• You get a Dear John E-mail... Your name is Fred.
• They no longer have access to a computer due to a recent parole.
• She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
• She tells you that she's been working a lot. You think it's a professional job, it turns out that she was responsible for the decorations at her Jr High prom.
• During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!

One of Two Reasons

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no wife to go home to... or they do.