Chinese Anniversary

Went to a Chinese restaurant today with my new girlfriend to celebrate our two month anniversary. The philosophical message in my fortune cookie read, "Every exit is an entrance."
Long story short, my girlfriend said no.

When Man Is Smartest

Q: Why is a man at his smartest when he is having sex?
A: Because he's plugged into a woman!

Pre-birth Class

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she cook???"