Route 66

A redneck truck driver is driving east on Route 66 when he sees another truck coming west. The CB crackles to life. “Hey, redneck,” says a voice on the radio. “Who are the two biggest faggots in America?” The redneck replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says, “You and your brother.” The redneck is annoyed but the other driver says, “It’s just a joke. Tell it to the next truck you see.” The redneck drives for an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on his CB and says, “Hey, other truck, d’you know who the two biggest fags in America are?” The other trucker says, “No. Who?” The redneck replies, “Me and my brother.”

Redneck Computer Terms

|Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That's what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in.
Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.