True Redneck Girl

Q: How do you know when you have a true redneck girl?
A: When she can chew tabacco and give you a blow job at the same time, and knows which one to spit and which one to swallow.

Redneck Found Marriage

A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

Expensive Fishing

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. It cost a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one pathetic fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then, it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"