10 More Signs You Might Be a Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

1. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off it.
2. In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
3. Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
4. You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.
5. You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
6. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
7. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
8. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
9. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
10. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

Second Chance

Q: What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A: Reintardnation

A Rock Solid Defense

A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"