Expensive Fishing

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. It cost a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one pathetic fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then, it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Cutting Grass

You might be a redneck if you cut your grass and find a car.

Redneck Gets Married

This redneck gets married, but on his wedding night he doesn't know what to do. He's fumbling around for a while, but finally his wife gets fed up and says, "Jeb, ya big idiot! Yer s'pposed to take that thing you play with and put it where I pee!"
So he got his bowling ball and threw it in the outhouse!