Leroy's Homework Assignment...

Leroy is given a homework assignment. Still befuddled by the whole school thing, Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of vocabulary words to use in sentences.  Here's what he handed in:
HONOR ROLL - We was playing poker on the stoop the other day, man I was HONOROLL.
PLANET - I got me some seed to grow weed, so I PLANET in the backyard.
DISMAY - I went for a blood test, the doctor pulled out a big needle. He said, "DISMAY hurt a little."
OMELET - Every time I start a new job, OMELET go after a week.
STAIRWAY - When me and my homies get high, we STAIRWAY into space.
MOBILE - I went to buy crack, I was short on cash, my man said, "Gimme one MOBILE."
DEFENSE - I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE and got away.
AFRO - I got so mad at my girly, AFRO a lamp at her.
AFTERMATH - I like to be high in school, so AFTERMATH I go to the field and smoke weed.
LOCKET - I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET.
DOMINEERING - My girly's birthday was yesterday, I got her a DOMINEERING.
KENYA - I needed change fo the subway, so I axe a stranger KENYA spare some change.
DERANGE - DERANGE is where da deer and antelope play.
DATA - At my basketball game, I scored thirty points. My coach said, "DATA boy!"
COPULATE - I called 911 and an hour later when they show up, I said, "COPULATE!"
FASCINATE - My girly's boobs are so big. Her shirt has ten buttons, she can only FASCINATE!
BEWARE - I asked the man at the unemployment office, "Is this BEWARE I get a job?"
COATROOM - The judge said, "One more outburst like that, and you'll be thrown out the COATROOM."
DECIDE - I like Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to have a couple of babes on DECIDE.

Sharing The Remote

You might be a redneck if an intimate evening at home consists of sharing the remote.

10 Signs You Might Be a Redneck

1. You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
2. Your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.
3. You go to your family reunion to pick up women.
4. Your richest relative buys a new house -- and you have to help him take the wheels off it.
5. You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment.
6. Your family tree does not fork.
7. You've ever been too drunk to fish.
8. You've lost more than two teeth opening beer bottles.
9. You helped your cousin move his refrigerator -- and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
10. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.