Redneck - Stuffed Oppossum

You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed opossum mounted anywhere in your home.

Route 66

A redneck truck driver is driving east on Route 66 when he sees another truck coming west. The CB crackles to life. “Hey, redneck,” says a voice on the radio. “Who are the two biggest faggots in America?” The redneck replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says, “You and your brother.” The redneck is annoyed but the other driver says, “It’s just a joke. Tell it to the next truck you see.” The redneck drives for an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on his CB and says, “Hey, other truck, d’you know who the two biggest fags in America are?” The other trucker says, “No. Who?” The redneck replies, “Me and my brother.”

You Might Be a Redneck If... 18

You might be a redneck if...

• Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
• Your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
• When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
• You have a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't.
• You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
• Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
• You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
• Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
• You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
• You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.