Redneck Porch

You know you're a redneck when you're front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 65

You might be a redneck if...

• Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.
• Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.
• You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.
• You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.
• Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.
• You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
• You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case."
• You've given your gun a woman's name.
• Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.
• You go to the post office to research your family tree. 

Pregnant Redneck Gal

Q: How do you get a redneck gal pregnant?
A: Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.