You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 65

You might be a redneck if...

• Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.
• Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.
• You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.
• You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.
• Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.
• You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
• You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case."
• You've given your gun a woman's name.
• Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.
• You go to the post office to research your family tree. 

Pregnant Redneck Gal

Q: How do you get a redneck gal pregnant?
A: Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Social Tips For Rednecks

1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
4. Even if your certain that you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a U-Haul to the funeral.