You Might Be A Redneck If - 17

You might be a redneck if...

• You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don't use it because they won't come down your driveway to get it.
• The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife.... and wave to her.
• Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any bait that may have grown in them since the last time you went.
• You have ever removed the 3-9 zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.
• You have more than 2 used pampers rolling around in the back of your truck.
• When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
• Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".
• You own more than two clappers.
• You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.
• You recycle enough Copenhagen lids to buy Christmas presents. 

Redneck Porch

You know you're a redneck when you're front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 65

You might be a redneck if...

• Your idea of good fishing involves the use of a boat, a net and dynamite.
• Burger King won't let you do it your way, right away.
• You can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday, kids birthday, or anniversary.
• You can remember every NASCAR driver and their car number but can't remember how old your children are.
• Your idea of going to see a play involves goal posts.
• You think a computer hacker carries an axe.
• You keep a chainsaw in the trunk "just in case."
• You've given your gun a woman's name.
• Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.
• You go to the post office to research your family tree.