Piano Uncle

My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.

Vasectomy

I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.
But all it did was change the color of the baby.

The Dot

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.  Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.  On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won; a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in the United States.
If nothing there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide technical support for computer companies.