A New Lieutenant

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder raised his hand and asked, "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" " Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."

Poor Bird

One day a brunette and a blonde lady were walking through the park. All of the sudden, the brunette stops and says "Aw, look at the poor dead bird." The blonde looks up and says "Where!?"

Alzheimer Benefits

Top Two Benefits of having Alzheimer's:
1. You can wrap your own presents.
2. You are always meeting new friends.