Popular Jokes

These jokes are our most popular jokes over the past few months, based on all user feedback. Vote for your favorites today!

I'll Have a Coke

So there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof appears the genie! The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted. Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted. Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes." So the white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: RandiPants

Woman's Wish

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The genie said, "I can only grant you one wish. So ... what will it be?" The young woman pulled out a map of the middle east from her back pack. "See these countries, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Palestine and Israel etc. Well I want them all to live in peace" she said. The Genie studied the map. "WTF lady, they've been fighting each other for hundreds of years, that's impossible, try another wish," the Genie grunted. Well said the young woman, "then I want a perfect man, one who is kind, compassionate, gentle who likes children and housework, loves to cook and will help clean the house even if the Super Bowl is on." The Genie stares at the young woman and finally says, "Show me that fucking map again."

Anonymous

Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.
 
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!
 
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.
 
Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.
 
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
 
Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.
 
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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