Definitions of A Diplomat:

Definitions of A Diplomat:

• Always knows what to talk about, but doesn't always talk about what he knows.
• Always tries to settle problems created by other diplomats.
• Can always make himself misunderstood.
• Can bring home the bacon without spilling the beans.
• Can convince his wife not to hide her nice body under a floor-length sable.
• Can convince his wife to show off her new coat in a bus rather than in a taxi.
• Can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.
• Can keep his shirt on while getting something off his chest.
• Can look happy when he has unexpected dinner guests.
• Can make his wife believe she will look fat in a mink coat.
• Can make nothing sound like something.
• Can put his best foot forward when he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
• Can put his foot down without stepping on someone's toes.
• Can say the nastiest things in the nicest way.
• Can tell a man he's open-minded when he means he has a hole in his head.
• Can tell you to go to hell so tactfully that you look forward to the trip.
• Comes right out and says what he thinks when he agrees with you.
• Divides his time between running for office and running for cover.
• Has a straightforward way of dodging issues.
• Knows how far to go before he goes too far.
• Lets you do all the talking while he gets what he wants.
• Never tells a woman how nice she looks in a gown. He tells her how nice the gown looks on her.
• Puts his cards on the table, but still has some up each sleeve.
• Straddles an issue whenever he isn't dodging one.
• Will approach every question with an open mouth.
• Will lay down your life for his country.
• Will refuse to answer any question on the ground it might eliminate him.

The Kennedys

Did you hear there is a new movie out about the Kennedy's? It's called Three Funerals and a Wedding.

Candidate's Shootout

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Fargo, North Dakota: A candidate for sheriff has challenged his opponents to a shootout, calling it a test of a law officer's ability to protect the public. "Clearly, being the best shot doesn't necessarily make you the best sheriff, but I think it proves a point," Ken Schwab said Tuesday. Schwab wants the four other candidates to meet him June 1 at a shooting range. Each will fire 24 rounds at targets to determine the best shot, Schwab said. The challenge could be a problem for one candidate -- a well-known local tax protester and convicted felon who's not allowed to possess a firearm.