Kimmel on POTUS Election

I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours you were supposed to seek medical attention.

Anthropomorphic Nouns

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish,
and a Gaggle of geese. 
However, less widely known is: A Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (or their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves, and, presumably because they look so wise,  a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. Baboons are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least Intelligent of all primates.  And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not... A Congress! A CONGRESS OF BABOONS!  Now, some say that it’s really a Troop of Baboons but I think we do have a Congress of Baboons.

George W. Bush and Jewish Friend

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby. They arrived and Dubya's friend ordered them both the house specialty: matzo ball soup. The waiter brought the bowls and George looked at the soup suspiciously, but his friend urged him to try at least one taste. So he took a bite of matzo ball and slurped some soup and clearly liked it. After Dubya was finished he said, "Mmm mmm, that was good! But tell me, do you Jewish folks eat other parts of the matzo, or just the balls?"