Spelling Contest

Q: If Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Dan Quayle, and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

New Language Courses in Ameirca

New languages being taught in America:

• Afro-American Speak -- Ebonics (or We-Beonics)
• Irish-American Speak -- Leprechaunics
• Native-American Speak -- Kimosabics
• Italio-American Speak -- Spumonics (or Rigatonics)
• Chinese-American Speak -- Won-tonics
• Japanese-American Speak -- Mama-san-ics
• Polish-American Speak -- Kielbasanics
• Jewish-American Speak -- Zionics
• Russian-American Speak -- Rasputonics
• Spanish-American Speak -- Flan-ics
• Scottish-American Speak -- Tartan-ics
• Eskimo-American Speak -- Harpoonics
• German-American Speak -- Autobaunics (or Teutonics)
• Canadian-American Speak -- EH?onics
• Florida Democratic Voters Speak -- Moronics

Joe Biden's Deal

Joe Biden was getting ready for a Covid Halloween party when the Devil suddenly appeared and made him an offer.
"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, POTUS in 24, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents." 
Biden was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:

"So...what's the catch?"