Nickel's Difference

There's a nickels worth of difference between a republican and a democrat. Put a nickel on the table and a republican will kill you for it. Do the same and a democrat will steal it from you.

Republicans Vs Democrats

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket and gave him fifty dollars.

New Born Puppies

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. President Obama was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service agents. Obama asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, "Democrats." The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!" A few weeks later Obama was jogging again, this time with Biden in tow. Obama stopped at the boy's house, winked at Joe and said, "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?" The boy said, "Republicans" Obama looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Democrats!" The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."