Kimmel on POTUS Election

I thought if your election lasted more than 48 hours you were supposed to seek medical attention.

A New National Anthem?

Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a new national anthem for the United States, "Yank my Dandy Doodle!"

Marine Confession

A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville. He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter."
The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."