Mattresses

At least now, Mr. Clinton, we understand why mattresses are discounted every Presidents Day.

Politician Phoning His Mother

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!" "Honestly?" The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

Trump Wall

Q: How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall?
A: They'll get over it.