Only One

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

Under a Rock

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Female Comebacks

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
 
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
 
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
 
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
 
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
 
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unferrtilized.
 
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
 
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
 
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.