Life In A Retirement Home

Willy's rolling down the hall of a retirement home acting like he's driving a car, an orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing. Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend." The orderly chuckles and enters Bob's room to check on him. He catchs Bob pleasuring himself, when asked what he is doing, Bob replies, "I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."

Biting Nails

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth."

King Henry VIII

Q: What would King Henry VIII be doing if he was alive right now?
A: Scratching at the lid of his coffin of course!!!