A Hearing Problem

An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about 20' behind her and asked  "Can you hear me sweetheart?' No reply. Moved to 10' and inquired again.  No reply. 5' and not a word.  A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"? His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."

Spell Ice Cream

This little old lady walks into an ice cream parlor and asks for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are all out of chocolate ice cream'. The lady says 'OK, I'll take one scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup.' The man says 'Ma-am, we are all out of chocolate'. The little old lady says 'OK, then I'll have a single scoop of chocolate in a cone'. The man, a little more irritated this time says 'Ok, lady. Spell van as in vanilla'. The lady says V A N, The man says, 'OK, spell straw as in strawberry'. The lady says S T R A W. The man says, 'OK, now spell fuck as in chocolate'. The lady says there ain't no fuck in chocolate. The man says, 'Lady, that's what I've been trying to tell you all along!

Three Old Ladies Who Are Hard of Hearing

Three old ladies, who are hard of hearing, are walking down the street.
Old Lady #1: Whew, it's windy today!
Old Lady #2: No. Today's Thursday!
Old Lady #3: So am I! Let's go to a bar!