Viagra Verdict

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow." Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"

Valentine Breakfast

The old couple were celebrating Valentine's day after 50 years of marriage. They were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting there naked as a jaybird, too!" "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."  Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I'm not surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

Social Security

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."