I Think Rover Is Getting A Bit Old...

"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf." "Bullshit, watch this...Rover sit! Oh dear, you're right, I'll get the shovel and clean it up!"

The Aged Patient's Lowered Sex Drive

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."

Reasoning Test

Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc. The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..." Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, ma'am, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?" "Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"